Anxiety Relief Tips & Strategies

For the most part, I enjoy my life as it is. I’m quite content to stay home, play with my dogs, work on the computer, read through my extensive mystery library and relax in my peaceful garden or at a local park.

It wasn’t always that way, and there are times of late when loneliness sets in. This surprises me because since my recovery from depression, I’m usually quite content to be alone – to have time for myself with no “responsibilities” and no one demanding to know my every move. Where in the past I dreaded being alone, today I truly enjoy being able to do what I want, when I want and in whatever way I want.

To some, this is seen as a selfish, perhaps even a self-centered, approach but that’s not necessarily true. Being in charge is a powerful feeling, but it doesn’t mean being isolated from others and not acknowledging them and enjoying time with them. The key is to find a happy medium and the secret to personal contentment.

I was married once, many years ago, and in general, I enjoyed being married. Differences in life goals led to an early divorce. Recently, I’ve caught myself thinking about my ex-husband – a very rare occurrence for the past 30 years. It just happened one day, out of the blue, that I wondered where he was, how he was doing and how my life might have been different had we stayed together. You can imagine how surprised I was to catch myself wishing we were together now.

Fortunately, this feeling is short lived as I get on with my life and “come to my senses”, you might say.

There was a time some 30 years ago when I would have become extremely depressed and overwhelmingly lonely to the point of wanting to end it all. It was because I was alone and feeling worthless. My psychiatrist saved me from what was looking like a dim future.

His comments led to a major turning point in my life. I’ll never forget those words of wisdom. He told me that I didn’t like myself much and that I relied far too heavily on others for my own happiness. Having never had many friends, I told him this was the problem, but he quickly assured me that having just one good friend is often more than many people enjoy. Suddenly, I felt fortunate rather than lacking.

After that exchange, I began taking a much closer look at what I needed to do to change and recover from my depression and loneliness. I looked at what would make me happy and what made me happy in the past.

The first step was to boost my own self esteem. At first, I was unsure how to do that because I didn’t know why I didn’t like myself. He put me on the right track by suggesting I get involved in things I enjoy.

I reevaluated what I was good at. Fortunately, I still have my public school records and a review soon brought instant realization. My best subjects were spelling and literature. Well, I’ve always enjoyed art, writing in particular, so I took a quick trip to the local high school. I knew what would make me happy, at least in the short term.

For the next 12 weeks, I took two writing courses that involved reading books on my favorite topics – archaeology and mythology. It was amazing to experience the inner uplifting when my lessons repeatedly came back with high marks and praise. This affected me immensely because I actually did very poorly in school overall.

Since that introduction into boosting my self-esteem, I’ve learned a great deal about myself and how talented I truly am. The more I realized, the farther I went. And the more I put myself into a learning state, the more skills I perfected, from computer literacy to photography.

Today, depression is rare, and loneliness rarer. I’ve learned to enjoy being with myself and what things give me instant satisfaction. Whenever depression sneaks in, I need only to busy myself with the activities that reenforce my abilities and the wonderful feeling of having accomplished them.

Loneliness and depression do not have to take over your life. If you can identify what made you happy in the past, what are your in born talents, and what will make you feel good about yourself and who you are, take immediate steps to build on those talents. You might surprise yourself when, one day, you realize how confident and self-assured you feel.