Low self esteem can be easily missed if you’ve already convinced yourself that your self esteem is just fine. I was severely shy as a child and blamed that on how I felt, day after day. It never occurred to me that I had low self esteem.

Then one day my therapist said to me, “You rely too much on other people for your own happiness.”

I was 35 years old at the time, still battling massive anxiety and panic attacks. He wasn’t talking just about my need to have people around me. That was because of my panic disorder. I was afraid to be alone because I didn’t trust myself.

He was talking about my tendency to put everything on my upbringing, on how my parents treated me. I craved approval that was hard to come by. It was hard back then, and it was hard when I became a married adult.

I didn’t know how to “feel good” about who I was unless I received accolades from other people – at work, at home, in social situations.

His next words of wisdom were, “You don’t like yourself very much.”

The link was obvious. I relied on others to let me know I was okay, that I was liked and accepted, and that I was recognized as a valuable person.

Clearly, I had a lot of work to do if I were to ever recover from my anxiety and panic attacks – and get rid of my low self esteem.

After doing some digging, I discovered that to improve low self esteem, it’s necessary to find things about yourself that you do like.

Now, this took a bit of work, but fortunately I still have my school report cards from way back in the 1960s. It was evident where my strengths lie. Going down the list of subjects, I realized that I truly felt good when I worked on certain areas, like English Literature and Art.

How was this knowledge going to help my low self esteem?

Simply by focusing on those talents that I knew I was good at. I began doing some creative writing and a few paintings and sketches. With each piece of work, I could feel my self esteem creep up a little.

It was the start of my recovery from my panic and anxiety disorders and my low self esteem.

Once I was able to pat myself on the back, I required less recognition and approval from other people. Over time and after numerous creative projects, and eventually English classes at my local high school, I noticed a significant improvement in my low self esteem.

Perhaps for the first time in my life, I felt good about who I was. I now was aware of my true talents and I didn’t need anyone to confirm them.

Recently, I began watching soap operas – something I swore I’d never do. But a few years back I got hooked on Guiding Light – one of the top award winning programs. When the show started out 70 years ago, they introduced each episode with a poem about finding your light.

“Finding your light” is the key to your own happiness. Once you find it, you will begin to experience the inner satisfaction and excitement that I now feel. You will know who you are and why you are here.

Tap into your true talents and put them to use. Put your entire mind, body and soul into those talents to make them the absolute best they can be.

Make sure they are talents that give you tremendous personal enjoyment, because to focus on anything else will not work.

Get to work on your low self esteem by looking inside at what makes you glow. Your anxiety and panic, and even depression, will subside.

I recently came across a package that includes several books to help you develop self confidence and find success in life. It’s called Mind Power.

If you are very sensitive to criticism, you likely have low self esteem. Chances are, you also constantly make negative comments about yourself, your abilities and your success or failure. You probably don’t recognize your own good qualities, or you reject any positive comments you receive from people.

For people with low self esteem, this is common thinking. This type of thinking magnifies the self-doubt and disliking yourself. In all likelihood, it is at the root of your lack of confidence and anxiety attacks.

Here are a few things you can do to start on your road to recovery, to build your self esteem and in the end, remove those anxiety attacks you are currently experiencing.

1. Check your emotions: Emotion brings out special reactions – you laugh, cry, are happy, become fearful. How often do you say, “I feel happy…” or “I feel sad…” or any other term to explain how you feel at a given time? How you feel about your children, your attitude towards life, your parents, your relations, your job are all based on emotions. Are you afraid or suffer fearful thoughts?

Fear is a state of mind and it is an emotion. Learn that as long as you are fearful, you won’t go forward. You will persistently live in the past because you will be ruled by old feelings of failure. What you really want to do with your life is overshadowed by these past experiences. Tell yourself that the fear is in the past and does not apply to today. Send positive messages to yourself, “Today my mind will be positive – I will think only positive thoughts.”

2. Regain your Confidence: It’s possible someone robbed you of your confidence early on during certain circumstances – perhaps while you were learning something new, making friends, establishing who you were going to be as an individual. When similar situations arise today, your confidence begins to slide because of the memories from the past.

Realize where this happens and gain control over those misdirected feelings that are based on false emotions from the past.

3. Find reasons to laugh: Laughter has a stimulating effect on our entire nervous system. It releases tensions that have built up in our bodies. Laughter provides an excellent escape from the stresses of living. Boost your confidence by learning to laugh again. Laugh at yourself – realize that whatever is troubling you does not rule your life, or it shouldn’t. Forced laughing counts, so take time every day to laugh. Next time you feel fearful, force yourself to laugh. Next time you put yourself down, laugh at how pointless that is.

4. Get a Handle on Your Self-Criticism: We all do it to some degree, but when it affects your life it’s time to stop. Self-criticism is based on the feeling that you’ve failed in some way – said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, made the wrong impression or decision. This misdirected mental energy is having a negative impact on your entire body. Listen closely to how you talk internally and stop that self-criticism – replace it with positive, encouraging thoughts.

5. Control Your Guilt: Did you make a terrible mistake in the past? Who hasn’t? Who doesn’t feel guilty at some point? It’s part of life and it’s part of what makes us respectful of others. It’s what keeps most of us from committing crimes. To compensate, you might become a workaholic, overwork and over-emphasize everything you do. When you feel you must spend the rest of your life compensating for an error in judgment, however, it’s time to make a change.

Guilt can trigger anxiety. When anxiety hits, you likely have no idea that guilt is the underlying cause. It’s possible you don’t even remember what you did to cause this constant sense of guilt. Do a short self-analysis, dig in and discover what situation caused your guilt and face it directly, rather than forcing it down where it can only cause you more harm than good.

This is just the beginning of what you can do to improve your self esteem and abolish your anxiety attacks.

Here’s something I recently discovered that will provide further help in building your self-esteem.

Go to http://www.book-titles.ca/mental_self_help.htm .