Many of you know how it feels to have a depressive episode. In fact, everyone probably has experienced an inkling of what they’re like when they felt sad. Severe grief is a perfect example of what depression feels like – except depression doesn’t always go away.

The thing is, when you reach the depths of depression, it’s difficult to rise above it. Everything around you is dark – from your thoughts to how you see things around you. Colors have drained from your surroundings and any shades that remain are dimmed.

What triggers such depression?

We’ve heard of the chemical imbalance in the brain, lack of light (seasonal affective disorder), sad thoughts and events that can have a significant impact on us mentally. Anyone who has had depression to any extent in all likelihood will have repeat episodes, even after they appear to have recovered.

It happened to me the last few days. The weather was terrible – we’d had overcast skies, snow and general dullness for several weeks or more. And if that weren’t enough, I suddenly faced an extreme financial reality that scared the pants off me.

My first response was anxiety – fear of what this all meant and no apparent way out. Then a few days ago depression descended like a black curtain. I felt myself slipping into that dark hole. Walking the dog, cleaning the house, doing my work was not important. There was no motivation or energy to do them.

The longer I sat, the worse it got. It was imperative I find solutions to why I was in this mess and how I’d get out of it. The road to breaking this depression meant getting right into my brain for some deep soul-searching.

Who was I? How was I thinking? Why was I thinking that way? What did it mean?

I tried imagery to envision a good outcome and a happy life, but I couldn’t even do that. This was unusual, because I have a very active imagination for this sort of thing. But it just wasn’t happening.

Then, I turned to a book I purchased recently called, “The Midas Method”. It discussed what you need to do in order to turn your life around and become successful, not just monetarily, but in getting anything you want.

What I like about this book is it forces you to take a look at your own actions and rethink your situation. Perhaps more helpful was the bonus that came with it… an audio by Anthony Robbins, the famous personal motivator and speaker.

These two products gave me the direction to start me thinking correctly to find the real problem behind my depression.

What specifically caught my attention was the reasons they give for why people fail… they’re either afraid to succeed or afraid to fail. So I wondered why those were the only reasons and how they could possibly relate to me. I’ve failed in the past and I’ve also succeeded, and in neither case do I recall feeling afraid of the outcome.

The important thing is, it got me thinking. I came up with several possible fears – fear of handling money because my math skills are so bad, and fear that my efforts wouldn’t solve my predicament.

This last one was important – and a surprise, because I suddenly realized that as long as I took no action, I always had ‘that’ action to take if things didn’t improve. Once that action had been taken and I failed, there would be no more answers. I wasn’t ready to deal with that reality.

Of course, failure of any kind would be a threat to my self esteem and confidence and I knew that as they were threatened, my depression would be magnified.

So my solution was to hope someone would solve the situation for me.

This exercise made me anxious to write this post because I believe there is very valid help there for the rest of you.

Through my recovery initially 25+ years ago and the mini-recoveries I face now and again, I learned that how I felt about myself was at the root of much of the depression, if not all.

We all have thoughts we developed during our early years, based on how we were treated, how events made us feel, and how we chose to respond.

I took a very close look at the way I think and respond to situations. This internal investigation was very revealing. I learned that I have adopted my father’s thought patterns – the way he spoke that I didn’t understand. Now, I understand exactly what he was getting at.

Like me, he was looking for attention in whatever way he could get it. Not by being aggressive or repulsive, but by making certain statements that would trigger the hopefully desired effect. This is not a healthy way to live your life, as I’ve now discovered.

I said I felt this realization can help you. By that I meant that by looking inside, taking a critical look at your thinking processes, your background, and how you react to things you’ll make discoveries that can be very revealing.

You are apt to find this difficult to do because our thoughts are so fleeting and so well-disguised sometimes. I see now that it takes practice to learn how to do this.

Once you do, however, you can grasp the reason for your depression and start working on that element to turn it around. For instance, in my case rather than taking my father’s approach, I can take my life into my own hands and stop looking for sympathy – for someone else to solve my predicament – because it isn’t going to happen.

Our thoughts are very subtle sometimes. We often don’t hear how we think. Until I did this exercise, I hadn’t known that I have that negative thinking pattern, although I recognized it all too well in my father.

I truly hope you can gain some benefit from this information. It certainly helped me tremendously. I can now work towards changing that unproductive and self-limiting thinking pattern.

Now that my depression has lifted (and it’s still gloomy outside) I can move on again.

If you have any thoughts or questions on this, I welcome your comments. Simply hit the ‘comments’ link below this post and add your feedback. I’ll read them as soon as possible.

Relaxation has played a significant role in my recovery from depression and anxiety. Here are some programs I discovered that are excellent. Read the reviews: http://www.book-titles.ca/selfhelp.htm . I highly recommend the Wild Divine Biofeedback Therapy. It’s not only a great way to achieve full overall relaxation – it’s fun to do.

If you are pregnant and feeling depressed, realize that this is normal. Unfortunately, many mothers-to-be find it difficult to accept the fact that they are depressed at a time when they should be full of happiness and expectation. Their ‘shame’ causes them not to seek help.

The reluctance to believe pregnant women can be depressed filters over to the medical profession, which means fewer women will be referred for depression treatment.

Recent studies have revealed that stress and depression is a major cause of premature birth, most likely triggered by the increased levels of hormones in the mother. The link between stress hormones and birth are simple – these same hormones help to bring on labor when the time is right. Which means they can also activate the birth too early.

The dangers of increased stress and depression in the mother carry over to the unborn infant. When hormones cause early premature birth, babies are more likely to die in their first few weeks of birth. They are also at risk for extremely serious health problems including lung disease, cerebral palsy, blindness and deafness.

Another concern is the belief that the increased stress hormone levels in the womb can negatively affect the child’s IQ later on. Children born under these circumstances can also develop behavior and emotional problems as well as depression later.

Considering the threat stress and depression pose to an unborn child, it is imperative the mother seek help as soon as possible. Insist that your doctor evaluate your condition and provide appropriate treatment to prevent such possible dire consequences.

Get help from one of the excellent products available at http://www.book-titles.ca/selfhelp.htm and http://www.book-titles.ca/mental_self_help.htm